Daring to be Honest before God...
It was mid February, that I entered into a season of prayer and fasting. During those cloudy and cold months that followed, God’s piercing truth convicted me concerning a specific group of people. "Are you willing to love the unlovely?" My answer blurted out much too quickly. "Of course!" My subconscious began to tally an invisible list of street people, criminals and addicts with whom I had worked. Certainly, He must be aware of these? The Spirit continued the questioning, "Really? I have noticed one culture, one group of people that you have consistently been unwilling to love". This came as an unexpected revelation to say the least! As the Spirit continued to slice through my jumbled thoughts, I scrambled again to defend myself, but it was too late! God’s words were cutting to my core. All at once, I knew this loving rebuke was absolutely true.
There was a “culture” of sorts that I was unwilling to love; in fact I had considered them for the most part, un-redeemable! In the past, I only tolerated the members of this well established group. Although their adherents had been responsible for much frustration and discouragement through the generations, they seem perfectly content with their community norms, "status-quo" structures and unique or better yet, "exclusive" language.
There was a “culture” of sorts that I was unwilling to love; in fact I had considered them for the most part, un-redeemable! In the past, I only tolerated the members of this well established group. Although their adherents had been responsible for much frustration and discouragement through the generations, they seem perfectly content with their community norms, "status-quo" structures and unique or better yet, "exclusive" language.
What is this so-called culture? Well, lets just say you won't find them on the Joshua Project list of unreached people. The culture of which I speak, are loyal to practice of Religious Institutionalism. Shamefully, I was completely unwilling to love those with their allegiances firmly planted in the rich soil of apathy, complacency, legalism and self-righteousness.
An internal storm swelled within me as the Spirit of God brought these images to the surface for a closer viewing. (Daring to be honest before God can get ugly!) My ego, my pride, was stirred up and worked dutifully to redeem itself from such pointed accusations...but there was no escaping God. Knowing God is Truth, unfortunately did not keep me from protesting. My unvoiced, yet determined confrontations continued. "Please God, I will gladly serve in any other culture in any other land, but don’t ask me to work among the religious, who cloister themselves in a cushion of institutional comfort!"
Then, just as quickly as I had erupted, now a deep quietness was settling in. Stillness. Silence. The gentle uprooting my own dreadful self-righteousness and lack of compassion continued quietly. Holy God was holding the mirror of His truth just close enough for me to see dimly my own unlovely reflection. Yep, there it was. With no more desire to struggle or to escape, no more arguments were necessary. God’s words to me were accurate.
It is truly easier to love the broken, the filthy or addicted. To befriend the criminals, prostitutes and thieves is no problem. At least they are forthright about their condition, their spiritual depravity or lost-ness. That however was not the question. The question at hand was, had I been willing to love the unlovely? Was I willing to love the “Religious” or the modern day “Pharisees”, those who rest their souls upon their own man-made institutions and traditions and not on God? In silence again, I sat, this time for a long while. Humbled by God’s ability to know my heart, I was without any excuses.
An internal storm swelled within me as the Spirit of God brought these images to the surface for a closer viewing. (Daring to be honest before God can get ugly!) My ego, my pride, was stirred up and worked dutifully to redeem itself from such pointed accusations...but there was no escaping God. Knowing God is Truth, unfortunately did not keep me from protesting. My unvoiced, yet determined confrontations continued. "Please God, I will gladly serve in any other culture in any other land, but don’t ask me to work among the religious, who cloister themselves in a cushion of institutional comfort!"
Then, just as quickly as I had erupted, now a deep quietness was settling in. Stillness. Silence. The gentle uprooting my own dreadful self-righteousness and lack of compassion continued quietly. Holy God was holding the mirror of His truth just close enough for me to see dimly my own unlovely reflection. Yep, there it was. With no more desire to struggle or to escape, no more arguments were necessary. God’s words to me were accurate.
It is truly easier to love the broken, the filthy or addicted. To befriend the criminals, prostitutes and thieves is no problem. At least they are forthright about their condition, their spiritual depravity or lost-ness. That however was not the question. The question at hand was, had I been willing to love the unlovely? Was I willing to love the “Religious” or the modern day “Pharisees”, those who rest their souls upon their own man-made institutions and traditions and not on God? In silence again, I sat, this time for a long while. Humbled by God’s ability to know my heart, I was without any excuses.
"Yes Lord... you are right...I am guilty. Please, please forgive me. Unlike Jesus, I have not been willing to love the unlovely."
"For the word of God is full of living power. It is sharper than the sharpest knife, cutting deep into our innermost thoughts and desires. It exposes us for what we really are." Hebrews 4:12
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